January.. Glad to see your gone

January was not a kind month in our household. Olivia had pneumonia TWICE, strep, flu and scarlet fever. Okay, seriously who gets scarlet fever now days. We are finally on the mend I hope. Baby girl made it through the month with a smile on her face. She is so strong, brave and inspiring. She has had a tough 2 years.

She has fought hard for 2 years. (No, her birth defects are not life threatening..barring any serious complications) (No, her developmental delays are not severe) I recognize these facts. I cherish these facts. I realize that things could have gone a different way. She could be perfectly healthy. She could have far more severe defects. We are the lucky ones. I pray for parents who don’t receive good news; that they are enveloped in God’s love. I pray for the parents who don’t have to worry about any news; that they realize how truly blessed they are.

As for us. I consider us lucky and extremely blessed. God choose us. Out of everybody on the earth he choose us to be this little girl’s parents. He knew he would be a tough road. He trusted us with her health. He trusted us with guiding her spirit.  

I don’t take things for granted (I try really hard not to at least). Every word Olivia says is just proof that God works miracles because just 6 months ago I was praying she wasn’t deaf. Every day that goes by that she doesn’t wheeze or struggle to breathe is proof that we made the right decision to wait on surgery (despite the countless nights I spent wondering if it was the right choice). Every new diagnosis that comes our way is proof that God loves us and is trusting us with a very special gift. How awesome is that? God trust us with something so fragile. 

Yes, Olivia isn’t in danger of dying tomorrow. I thank God for that everyday! That does not mean that her struggle is any less real. It does not mean that it isn’t scary. It just means we are blessed and lucky. Yes, there are times when I just want to curl in a ball a cry for hours – I do – But as I am constantly be reminded of is this. God loves her more than I ever could. She was his long before she was mine. With that, I can rest knowing she will be okay. We will all be okay.

Olivia’s journey has brought us tears, it has brought us joy. It has brought us new family (more on that later). 

So, January I am glad that you came. I am glad that you showed me just how much God loves us, loves Olivia. With out the trials that you brought us, it may have slipped my mind. January, you came and we learned from you. January, I’m glad that you came, but I am glad to see you go. The lesson was learned, you did your job. February, please be a little kinder. Olivia is strong, she is brave, but she needs to rest. She needs to rest in all the love that surrounds her. She needs time to grow stronger. For around the curve there could be another big battle. 

Comments

  1. “Olivia’s journey has brought us tears, it has brought us joy. It has brought us new family (more on that later).

    So, January I am glad that you came. I am glad that you showed me just how much God loves us, loves Olivia. With out the trials that you brought us, it may have slipped my mind. January, you came and we learned from you. January, I’m glad that you came, but I am glad to see you go. The lesson was learned, you did your job. February, please be a little kinder. Olivia is strong, she is brave, but she needs to rest. She needs to rest in all the love that surrounds her. She needs time to grow stronger. For around the curve there could be another big battle”

    Ok…your perspective! Wow. How and when did you become so wise? This brought me to tears….thank you for reminding me that every trial is an opportunity. I so often forget that.

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