I have to grow up? Say what?
I have to admit I have loved living in my little half way bubble. I have had the pleasure of being able to go to school and raise a family. I have enjoyed my college experience but I got to do it with the love of my life by my side. How awesome is that?
In just a few short weeks (13 to be exact) I will graduate from college. I feel extremely old. Despite the fact that I have been married 3 years and 2 months. Despite the fact that my daughter just turned 2. These things don’t make me feel old. Because I have been able to live in my bubble of still going to school full-time. Now its all over! I have to be a real adult. No more school. Just my family and me.
Something about that just makes me feel old. I am closing a very big chapter in my life. I have been to school ALL my life. What am I going to do without homework? Sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I mention nursing students don’t get to sleep. EVER.
So the fact that I am fixing to never have to go to school again makes me a little sad, a little scared and whole lot of happy!
I am so ready to start this new chapter. I am ready to be able to help my husband provide for our family. I am ready to begin life as a “real” adult. I am excited. I feel like life can really begin now. (Like it hasn’t been happening already) .
I am excited for the I did it moment as I walk across that stage. With my parents, brother, husband, and child cheering me on. My four years as a college student have been a rollarcoaster ride. I stayed home to get married my first semester of college (I originally wanted to move to Ohio to go college). Best decision ever. My second semester, I found out two things. 1. I got into nursing school (sigh of relief). 2. I was going to have a baby (tears of fear, how was I going to go to nursing school with a baby). Third semester, my grandpa died suddenly 7 days after being diagnosed with cancer, that same day my grandma his wife got diagnosed with cancer. My fourth semester I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. My fifth semester my grandma lost her battle with cancer (at this point I needed medicine I had rock bottom emotionally). My sixth semester Olivia was diagnosed with an airway birth defect -causing several delays-, she had her first surgery. (Alot of crying was done at this time, I really wanted my grandma) My seventh semester, Olivia yet again had to have another surgery, started her 4th therapy program and was undergoing testing for more problems (Life goes on. I finally learned how to cope). My eighth and final semester: We are currently awaiting for another specialist (we might have another defect that we just found) We are also waiting to hear about her genetic testing (Finally, we may have some answers).I don’t say these things to toot my own horn. I say them because I am proud of where I have been, and what I have gone through. Without, these things, I would not be the person I am today. So in 13 weeks. I can walk across the stage and say I DID IT! Against all odds I did it. I will be the first person in my family to graduate with a four year degree. I DID IT! I will hold my head proudly as I walk across the stage, and thank God for everything he has done. Without him, I could not say that. A huge thanks to my husband, who has gone through this journey with me and stayed by my side for all the ups and for all the downs. I truly am blessed.
There are many big decisions to make in the next few weeks. Using God’s wisdom I know we will make the right decisions for our family.
Grace Lives Here 
I am so incredibly proud of you. I truly believe that God knew….he always does…he knew that you were created to handle this life and you would do it well…with a heart full of love and grace. I feel so blessed to be your momma…oh the lessons you have taught me.