Grace..It’s hard

Grace, one small five letter word. Hardest thing in my life. Grace can be defined as an unmerited favor. By God’s grace we have been saved. We don’t deserve his grace and his love but he gives it to us anyway. GRACE. 

Me and Matt have adopted this as a parenting style. Does this mean that we don’t discipline. ABSOLUTELY NOT! It means we discipline with grace in mind. We do still spank, but we allow Grace to be extended first.  For example yesterday, little miss I don’t wanna listen, wasn’t listening. We sat her down instructed her to listen gave her another chance. Again, she chose not to listen this time we brought God into the picture. I explained that I know it is hard to obey mommy and daddy, but that Jesus wants us to obey them. And that it is impossible to do that because we have sin in our heart, but Jesus came and died for us so that we could listen. At this point Olivia wanted to pray, so we did that. She is 2, she didn’t know what she was doing but she heard Jesus and she knew that we pray to Jesus so we stopped and prayed that God would help us listen to our mommies and daddies. After our talk she said sorry (after being asked) and she listened. 

Fast Forward to today: By 10:00 she had received 3 spankings and was on the verge of another one. Grace was the last thing on my mind. I yelled, I raised my voice in anger and frustration. Then God spoke. Ouch, it hurts. I remembered Grace. I disobey God, I don’t listen, I run the other way when asked to do things that maybe I just am not comfortable with. I had to Stop and Be Still. God does not raise his voice at me, he does not yell at me. He extends to me grace. So then why would I yell at my 2 year old. She just wanted to play with her kitty. To her, it didn’t matter if her hair was brushed or if she was dressed or if mommy had a to-do list that seemed 5 miles long. She wanted to love on her kitty. Because despite the fact that her kitty scratches her, she loves her kitty she forgets that kitty has done her wrong. Is this not what the father does for us. 

At this point, I felt pretty low. My toddler was showing grace to her kitty and I couldn’t even show her grace while just trying to get ready for the day. I had to stop. I had to apologize. Yes, she still got in trouble for not listening to mommy. But first I needed to apologize to her for yelling. This was a great teaching moment for me and her. She learned that mommy still messes up, mommy still needs a savior. That I absolutely cannot do this parenting thing without God. I learned that I still need a savior, that I can’t do this in my own power. 

GRACE. It’s hard. But its so worth it. It’s worth it to see the Holy Spirit working in my daughter’s heart. It’s worth it to see how God is working in my life. 

Grace, its a lesson I must re-learn everyday.