From my heart to yours

“How LM Supermoms Are Chosen”

(adapted from a story by Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how LM Supermoms are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he
observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to
profanity.”
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
“Give her a LM baby.” The angel is curious. “Why this one, God?
She’s so happy.”
“Exactly,” smiles God.
“Could I give a LM baby to a mother who knows no laughter? That
would be cruel.”
“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.
“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”
“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”
God smiles. “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has
just the right amount of selfishness.”
The angel gasps, “Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time,
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see–
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice–
and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”
“And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air.
God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

**Disclaimer I found this poem on the Coping with LM blog. You can check out Laryngomalacia (LM) here.

This poem speaks wonders to my heart. It reminds me that there is a reason my baby is special, it reminds me that I was chosen to be her momma. Despite the hard times I have joy to know that I am doing that very few are chosen to do. I get to be the mom of a pint-sized powerhouse. I get to teach her that every obstacle is just another turn in the path, a journey in which we are to learn from. Grow from. God is with me always. I didn’t need this poem to remind me of this. But the poem speaks wonders to what it feels like to be a LM supermom. 

It’s being a part of something bigger than yourself. It’s being part of a community of people that understand what it’s like to watch your baby struggle with the simple task. It is using terms like LM, pint-sized powerhouse, LM supermom, dysphagia, thick it, ENT, MLB, supraglottoplasty (say that 5 times fast)  and several others on a daily basis. It’s not wanting sympathy or pity. It’s just wanting to talk “shop” with other moms even though on my part it usually involves talking about another doctor appointment that came up or another set back, or a great milestone. That’s what my kid goes through, that is my life. I talk about those things not wanting sympathy or pity but because it is what I live. 

Recently, we were in a restaurant and Olivia started choking. To us, its nothing new. We wait it out. She has to cough it up, until she is at the point where she needs the CPR or the heimlich there is nothing we can do but wait it out. Olivia has never needed the heimlich or CPR. (knock on wood). She coughs it back up, takes a drink and goes on with life. That it is our life. Full of scary, its our normal. So to the lady who offered up her husband’s services of CPR. I appreciate the offer. I do, I am glad someone cares for the little ones and is willing to speak up. I don’t appreciate the looks of disgust as I explain she will be fine and this happens all the time. I know I am young, and I could tell by the look on your face that you thought my reaction was not appropriate to what was happening. You won’t hurt my feelings. I am a good mom. Yes, I am a young mom but I am a good mom. I wish I could talk to you about the struggle that goes on in my heart when I have to watch those choking episodes. It pains me to know that there is nothing I can do. It breaks my heart to watch my 2 year old struggle with a simple task of eating. Did you know it took my daughter months of feeding therapy to be where she is at now. Just a year ago a simple choking episode would have meant that she stopped eating in fear, and resulted in us being hospitalized twice for dehydration because she was simply too scared to eat or drink. Did you know that in those moment the shear panic that I hide. You see, the less I panic the less my daughter panics and the easier it is for her to cough it back up. You don’t see the medicine cabinet that has more medicine for my 2 year old than it for anyone else in our home. So please next time you think you are hiding your look of pity, just know that I still see it. I can feel it radiate from you. 

My daughter has mountains to climb. She has climbed over several already. She doesn’t need your pity. She is in fact one to be envied in my opinion. You see she at 2 has learned the hard way that life isn’t always fair. She has learned that in order to accomplish something you have to work really hard. Believe me she does. I don’t know of any other toddler that will sit and practice holding a color correctly for hours as she colors. Or practice using her pointer finger. She even practices her jumping -her physical therapist is thrilled that she does this-. Did you know my toddler even has to practice eating. She has to be reminded how to chew and swallow. New food textures are a daily challenge. You see she is already a step ahead in the world. She has overcome adversity, and will continue to overcome adversity. She will be a stronger person for it. 

Olivia brings joy. She has radiant smile. By looking at her you would never know what she has overcome, and she doesn’t let it stop her. Olivia is the picture of strength and bravery. She takes in the wonder of life, you can see it in her eyes.