When life throws you a lemon

State Boards. NCLEX.

Those few words will instill a fear like no other in the hearts of nursing students everywhere. It is the final test. This is what we went to school for. We paid thousand dollars, spent sleepless nights working on care plans, drug cards, studying for the Hesi. We spent countless days in the hospital learning how to be the best. We did group projects, we did teaching projects. We survived. 

We survived nursing school to come to the very end. NCLEX. After all our degree will do us no good unless we can pass this dreaded test. Talk about some stress.

By now, I’m sure your wondering how I did. I failed.  It was heartbreaking. Literally, I think I cried for about a week. In the span of one test, I almost lost my job. I lost my temporary license. Everything I thought I knew I felt like I knew nothing. Which is how I felt coming out of that test too. 

So I called my employer to ask about my position. They would hold it for me. Thank goodness!! I actually start next week. As a graduate nurse which means I get to work as a nurse (under close supervision of an RN-obviously since I don’t have my license yet), I also don’t get paid as a nurse. BUMMER.

But I get to start. I picked myself up. I bought another extensive review course. Applied to the state boards again. Paid for that dreaded test again. It ain’t cheap either. Wait my 45 days then I can test again.

So where am I at now? STUDYING. 

What did I learn from my failure.

1. Don’t take the NCLEX while you are stressed. – I had several issues arise the week before I tested. I should have rescheduled but I didn’t. Lesson Learned.

2. It is not the end of the world. -Life will go on. I will test again. I didn’t die.

3. Own it. – So I failed my test. Lots of people do. It doesn’t mean I’m not a great nurse. It just means I didn’t pass a test.

4. God has a plan- Because I failed, I have been forced to start my job later than anticipated. This meant no income for another month for our family. We had to learn how to rely on God. We were also blessed with amazing quality and quantity time as a family. Something that was rare while I was in school. God truly does work things out for our good.

5. I will make a better nurse for it.- Not saying I was a bad nurse before. But now, I am forced to go back and review EVERYTHING I learned. Now all that information will be fresh as I start my job.

With failure comes disappointment, but also great lessons and personal growth. I will make it through, I will learn from my mistakes and pass it the next time.