Why I love you third

Dear Olivia and all future kids,

I want you to know why I love you third. Not less, not more. Just third. First and foremost, I want to make this abundantly clear. I love you with my whole heart, I would take a bullet for you. I can’t even imagine my life without you. The thought of that literally brings me to tears. Yet, your still third on my list. Why?

Easy. Simple. God and your daddy come first.

My list:

GOD

YOUR DAD

YOU

God comes first in my life. No matter what. I want to always be doing what is in his will. Living on mission with community. He will is good, right and perfect. Just like him. While here on earth, God has blessed me with your daddy and you. I have been charged to look after my household. (Proverbs 31:27). To me this is my greatest responsibility. I am extremely grateful that God chose me to be your mom. It is not a job I take lightly. I need/want you to understand that while you belong to me here on earthy. Ultimately, you belong to God. My heart is that you grow up knowing God and how much he loves and wants for you. I want you to grow up always looking to the future of a glorious life with Christ. For earth is not our forever home. Heaven is. I can’t love you perfectly, but thankfully the Father can. It is because of his Grace and that I am able to do this thing called parenting.

Second, Your dad. He was here first. He will be here long after you leave the nest. Again, I have been charged with being a wife and submitting to your dad. (Ephesians 5:23). How can I show you Christ-like love, if I don’t love your dad. Marriage is supposed to a great picture of Christ’s love for us. I want you have an amazing picture of Christ love for you. I also want you to see how a man should treat you. We are a looooooonnnnnnng way from that. Too often today, little girls settle for less than they deserve. I want you to grow up knowing what you deserve.

When you came, it was hard. Every fiber in body wanted to put you on a pedestal. I did for awhile. But, my marriage suffered. So after a good hard look in the mirror, and long talk or two with God. I realized. Yes, I am to raise you, teach you, care for you. (Deuteronomy 6:7) However, I still need to tend to my marriage. I can’t do that if I put you above your dad. It’s hard. It is a struggle every day. It goes against everything that the world tells us. So that my darling, is why I love you third. 

I don’t love you less, I don’t love you more. Believe me, if the choice came between saving your life or your dads life. Me and your dad would both agree you come first. No reservations about that. Let’s just pray that never happens. I can’t imagine my life without you or your dad. But while you are both still here on earth with me. This is the list.

You need to learn that the world does not revolve around you. It revolves around our Savior. You need to learn precious values, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. (Galatians 5:22). You can’t learn these things to the extent in which God intended if I put you first on my list. To you put you first or even second would be selfish of me. I would be doing you an injustice. I wouldn’t be showing you a picture of God’s kingdom. If I put you higher up on the list, I would be showing you that what I want is better than what God wants. I love you too much to do that.

Please don’t get me wrong. I will fail at this. ALOT.  There will be days when I do put you first. There will be days when I fail to show you Grace, like Christ has shown me Grace. The awesome thing about Grace is that, even though I fail. Jesus he was perfect for me. So on days I fail. Jesus is there to remind me, to remind you of his Grace. His Grace is enough. So for the days I get it right. This is why.

**This post was inspired by a fellow blogger with a different perspective. I want to make it clear that I respect all parents decisions to parent and raise their children in whatever manner they chose. Check out The Pinterested Parent and why loves her daughter more!