What women talk about

I recently went to a women conference Let me tell you. Women talk about babies and kids and being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong. I love to talk about these things too. It must be in our genes. However, this time I had a different perspective.

DISCLAIMER: This is gonna get personal

This time I was not only part of the conversation as a fellow mom sharing stories. I wasn’t playing the part of a supportive friend excited for a friends pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong I was happy for them, extremely. However, with that happiness for them comes extreme sadness for me.

You see I have been off Birth control for a year now. With absolutely no signs of a baby in my future. I started taking a new med to see if that would help.

So normally all the baby and pregnancy talk would make me happy. This time it just made me sad and lonely.

It’s a hard place to be in. You want to be happy for your friends at the same time you are sad for yourself. You don’t want to tell anyone because you don’t want anyone to feel sorry for you. Yet, you want to feel the love of family and friends supporting you through this time.

So I am not writing this blog to make anyone feel bad or feel sorry for me.

Instead I write it to say…

It’s okay for me to be sad. It’s okay for me to mourn what I so desperately want. It’s okay for me to have a good cry and eat ice cream.

In the meantime I am learning patience. I am learning grace. I am learning to lean on God and his perfect timing.

God only does what is good, right and perfect. So during this time I will be thankful for the child I have already been blessed with. I will be thankful that God knows what is best. I will lean on God’s strength and his wisdom.