& Life Goes On

Life without a three year old would be quite boring. I’m about 99.999% sure of that. The other 0.001% goes to thinking how stress free my life would be. One day this last week, I was picking up O from school (that’s what we call daycare), I walked into the office not really paying attention to what was going on so I could drop off a check for her gymnastics class. The director of her building said that they “have a rock up the nose”. I didn’t think much about it, after all I was still in my scrubs, I just thought they needed some help.

I looked down…

Oh, wait. I thought.

That’s my kid.

Oh my goodness, seriously. Why my kid. She never has been interested in sticking anything up any orfices. 

So I get the tweezers, and you can probably guess where this is going. I CAN’T REACH THE STUPID ROCK. I sternly tell Olivia DO NOT SNIFF and proceed to take her to the nearest ER to retrieve the stupid rock. Major kudos to the admission lady who tried really hard not to laugh at my predicament.

So we wait, and the APN comes in to confirm that yes we indeed have a rock in her nose. He tells me that the nurse will be in to retrieve said rock. The board says Emily, RN.  I hope and pray that’s our Emily from Fellowship. She is good. She can get this rock out. Olivia likes her. Well until she sticks tweezers up her nose. The nurse walks in. It’s Emily that we know from church.

Hallelujah. I do a little happy dance in my head.

5 minutes later. Olivia is rock free. Now lets just get out of here before anything else happens.

…

Discharge nurse comes in. Olivia loudly asks “Why is her face brown?” Oh Goodness, is this really happening. Did she just say that. I politely tell Olivia that God made her that way. Cue our next conversation.

Olivia: God and Jesus

Me: Yes, God and Jesus

Olivia: What color is my face?

Me: Oh my gosh kid, just be quiet. What color do you want it to be.

Olivia: Brown

Me: Seriously, not purple your favorite color. Okay, your face can be brown.

Kudos to the nurse who kept her giggling in.

Finally, we are free. We detour down to Hobby Lobby before heading back home. No harm can come from a little shopping right.

WRONG! 

Our first stop is the bathroom. Which Olivia goes in a stall by herself and proceeds to lock the door. No big deal, she does this all the time. Next thing i know she screams “Mom, wipe me! I pooped!” After at least a 3 minute conversation about how mommy can’t come in you locked it. You’re gonna have to get up and unlock the door. I had to crawl under the bathroom stall to unlock the door. At which time Olivia decided it was okay to get up and pull her pants up. Seriously, Olivia. The whole reason I am on the floor in a bathroom is to wipe your behind and you just pulled your pants up before I could. Sigh. 

We quickly left the bathroom and finished our shopping. Which Olivia hopped like a frog throughout the WHOLE store.