2018 a year of JOY.

At the beginning of the year I chose a word. I thought and prayer for one word. Instead of resolutions –that wouldn’t last longer than a month, maybe 2– I chose a word.

One word.

One word to define a new year.

One word to strive for.

Joy

Coming into 2018 I was ending one of the worst years I’ve encountered. I was angry, frustrated, sad, confused, anxious and depressed. I needed a reset.

I needed to re capture my joy.

At the beginning of the year I wrote “For me, my goal is that no matter what circumstance I find myself in that I also find the love of my God there too and with that I will find my JOY.” You can check out that post here.

You know, that is exactly what I did. I found my Joy, I found agape love, I found communion with Christ in the every day.

Some days it was easier than others. Like the day my third daughter was born. What a joyous day that was. The day my oldest graduated kindergarten. The day my middle –well just about any day with her– that girl is walking/talking joy.

Other days it was harder. Like that day I sent my oldest into the hands of surgeons for a surgery we hoped would help. Months later when we realized that surgery didn’t help and she would need another more serious surgery. The times I spent cleaning when all I really wanted to do was snuggle on the couch with my babies, the fights that came later when I did just snuggle on the couch with my babies.

Some days were better than others, but throughout it all I’ve seen God’s hand on my life. He has shown me a joy that can’t be dimmed.

I talk a lot about my daughters illness not because I want sympathy, not even because I’m sad about it –don’t get me wrong, it still saddens me– I talk about it because it’s a part of our everyday so it’s hard to ignore.

I have a lot of friends and family who feel the weight of it, and they often look so sad, and wonder how we do it. How we talk about it with ease.

It’s not because we aren’t sad, but because we have found the joy. We have learned that even in sorrow, and troubles, God has had his hand on us. He has been leading us. He has shown us how to make the small things the big things and find our joy in that.

He has led me to this joy. That while the middle is destroying my house (quite literally) to laugh. Not because it’s not frustrating, it is, but because it’s in these seemingly mundane moments that I am created for.

I was created for these tiny humans and they me.

Besides Jesus, is there any better news.

I was created for them, I am the mom they need.

Whether that’s to stay in the hospital with a sick kid, mop the flooded bathroom for the 15th time of the day, hold a baby just so she will nap.

I was created for them. I’ve found the joy, in these tasks that used to run me ragged. When I look at it from a creation standpoint, how can I not see the joy in everything.

I’m not perfect by any means, but I’ve definitely experience more joy this year than I have in a while.

The power of one word…

The power of a beautiful father working in you through one word…

That power can change your entire year.

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