Embracing the mess

To the mom who is sitting in the middle of the mess. It’s 8pm and your staring at your house convinced you did nothing today or maybe you feel like you did everything and have nothing to show for it. There are solo cups strewn across the room from building countless cup towers. The 50 […]

Memory Loss, Permanent Deficits, Quality of Life, Mortality Rates and where God fits into it all.

Memory loss, language/communication problems, permanent deficits, quality of life, mortality rates.  Where is God when I am discussing these topics with my child’s doctor? I’ll be honest sometimes God seems very distant, like he is just sitting back watching my daughter struggle through life without lifting a finger to help. Sometimes I wonder why Olivia? […]

I have PTSD from my child’s illness.

No, I don’t need a doctor to tell me that. I can tell you that because I am living it. Ask me what my biggest fear is. Ask me what haunts my dreams. Ask me what it’s like to live with the what if’s. Ask me what it’s like to relive the worst moment of […]

What I would give to be the mom in the carline…

Carline, a thing I used to dread… 45 minutes in a car with my cranky toddler who just wants out and a snack or two or five. Carline, I’m not sure anyone really likes the carline. Unless your toddler is sleeping and it’s your hour of peace. In which case hats off to you. You […]

My word of the year 2018: JOY

This year instead of having new year resolutions that never get accomplished, I am going in a new direction. A word of the year. One word to take me through the entire year. One word to shape the way my year goes. That word: JOY Joy in everything. Joy in the hard times. Joy in […]

2017 in review: A year of searching, seeking, fears, healing, unanswered prayers, grace and love abounding

“Yes, she has epilepsy. No, we may never know why; sometimes these things just happen” Those are the words that were spoken to us in June 2017. But to fully understand you have to go back to January 2017. January 1, 2017 Olivia consistently lip smacks or swallows in her sleep to the point it […]

No one tells you what to do when your baby isn’t healthy. 

“Do you want a girl or a boy?” “It doesn’t matter, as long as it is healthy” This is a coverasation every expectant parent has with almost every person they come into contact with. Every. Time.  I’m pregnant with my third baby. We have already been blessed with two beautiful girls ages 5 and 1. […]

Another Year. Another January. Part 2. 

I have put off writing this blog. I honestly don’t want to dive into it. To re live it. To dig up the emotions or rather have the emotions come bubbling to the surface. I’m afraid that once I write it, once I let this become black and white in words, it becomes real. Right […]

Another year. Another January. Part 1.

A few years ago I wrote a post about a pretty terrible January we had. You can read it here. Ironically enough, this January was even tougher. I remember a few years ago thinking, this is terrible is it ever going to get better?  It did get better. Then… BOOM. 2017 2017 has been a […]

America. Your not great. 

 America. Your not great. Yes, we have many things that we take for granted and should be thankful for but America:  WE are not great.  America, we have raised a generation of kids now adults who feel entitled to whatever they want. Who feel as if when they don’t get their way then it’s okay […]